Breaking News!!!

If this man approaches you and claims to be a 225 year old vampire he just may be lying.

I've spent the last 8 seconds of my life pouring over this image and I have came to the conclusion that he is indeed a douche.  Not a vampire.

Let's look at my evidence:  

1. Double chin.  Vampires are generally skinny, much the like the emo kid who bags your groceries.
2. Unibrow.  Vampires are generally well groomed.  In fact vampires do everything in their power NOT to look Italian.
3. 80's hair.  Vampires in general avoid looking 80's.  Unless they're chasing Corrie Haim.  And then said vampires should not only be admired but encouraged.

Never the less there are reports that others may have been fooled.

Read the story!

Based off the photo above we have to redefine and consider new suspects as vampires.

So lets consider our evidence and look for suspects.

- Aged, slightly fattened, Italian, 80's hair.

Ladies and gentleman meet the true Noserfatu.