Like a badly sunburned person who cautiously steps into a steaming hottub, so am I making my first post on this site.  I'm going to start things off easy, with a facepalm story that is pretty by-the-books.  I stumbled across this story on Yahoo, here's a link:

Alleged thief leaves giveaway clue — his signature

"IOWA CITY, Iowa - Police didn't have much trouble finding a man accused of using a stolen credit card — he signed his own name on one of the receipts.

The 21-year-old Iowa City man is accused of using the credit card to buy a latte at a coffee house and to buy cigarettes at a tobacco store. When he used the allegedly stolen credit card to buy the smokes, he signed the receipt with his own signature.

Police said he also tried to use the credit card to buy $154.21 worth of merchandise at another downtown store, but it came up as stolen. Then he presented his own identification.

When officers finally caught up with him at a deli, he allegedly admitted to using the card but denied taking it. The man told police he found the credit cards in his living room after a party.

He has been charged with four counts of unauthorized use of a credit card, an aggravated misdemeanor."

Now, you probably read that story (or maybe you didn't, I won't judge you), and are now thinking about how I am going to go off on this moron for signing his own name to someone else's credit card receipt.  Well, you're wrong.  The true facepalm moment comes from what he told the police that caught him.  I'll recap it for you, if you don't want to go back and read it (like you even read it in the first place, you jerk.  I lied about judging you): "...he allegedly admitted to using the card but denied taking it. The man told police he found the credit cards in his living room after a party".  This thrills me.  I'm sure the police are used to ridiculous excuses, but I'm sure Officer Iowa had no qualms about putting his face squarely into his palm upon hearing that tale. 

Also, I need to throw more parties in my living room so I can steal my friend's credit cards.  Who wants to come over?